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About all the changes in life that come with motherhood.
December is here and I have no idea when and how it has happened. It was just the beginning of the year, Mia turned 1 and I was getting ready for our first long flight. In 4 days she will turn 2 years old. It looks like yesterday passed a whole year.
During this time I’ve been trying to catch up with my life and to do everything I need to do, not forgetting about everything that I want to do. It turns out that I’m pretty boring nowadays.
Three years ago I was the crazy adventurous Marta, sometimes irresponsible, always curious, ready to pack my backpack and move to the other side of the world to check out if I like it there, climbing a volcano by myself and returning with a leg covered in blood, as I kicked a tree out of excitement, traveling around South America by myself for half a year, getting inspired by people on each step.
It took me two years of motherhood to realise that I am a different person, but what’s more important, to accept myself just how I am. It took some ignoring and realising, that what makes me super happy is not that interesting for others anymore. Because what makes me happy is making my daughter happy. That simple. Giving her a mango lassi when I pick her up from kindergarten, taking her on a beach and watching an ocean for 5 minutes, so she says wow and decides to go back, running after her (she will win races as she does not walk, she runs), colouring with her and sitting with her on a couch and watching Peppa Pig, singing a bit at the same time. On the way I lost a few friends, mostly ones without children, who were not interested anymore. It happens, I get it. I sometimes miss the times when I could simply get drunk, as having a hangover was the worst possible scenario (now it’s me being hangovered, waking up after 3h of sleep and taking care of my very active child). But I don’t miss people who disappeared. I remember talking to one great couple from Warsaw when I was still pregnant. They had already two kids and they told me that becoming a parent makes an automatic sifting of your friends. Well, it’s true.
I went into a bigger trap. I like my kid. I don’t mean that I love here, which is obvious. I mean that I really like my soon to be two years old. She is funny, optimistic, always happy, ready for action, she loves food, she plays with food, I never know what will come next. I like her so much, that I can’t wait to go for another road trip with her. Two girls hit the road 😀
The Recipe
YOU WILL NEED FOR THE DOUGH:
- 1 & ¼ cups flour
- 115g butter, cold, cut in small pieces
- pinch of salt
- 3 tbsp ice water
YOU WILL NEED FOR THE FILLING:
- 200g cream cheese
- 2 tbsp parsley, chopped
- 1 zucchini, sliced
- handful of small asparagus
- salt and pepper for taste
- olive oil for frying
In a bowl mix flour and salt. Add the butter cut in a very small pieces and start to rub it with fingers into flour. Start to add water spoon after spoon. If three spoons of water will not make the dough come together, add one more. Make a ball out of the dough, flatten it, roll in a foil and place in a fridge for at least 1h.
Heat your oven to 175*C.
In a bowl, mix cream cheese with parsley (shredded), add salt and pepper.
Heat a frying pan with a bit of an olive oil and fry sliced in stripes zucchini and asparagus over a medium heat. Let it cool.
Roll the dough into a rectangle, spread cream cheese on it and cover with zucchini and asparagus. Roll up the dough starting with a longer side of the rectangle. Cut the dough into 1,5-2cm slices. Arrange slices on a tray covered with a baking paper. Bake for about 30 minutes.
Enjoy, Marta
Heat your oven to 175*C.
In a bowl, mix cream cheese with parsley (shredded), add salt and pepper.
Heat a frying pan with a bit of an olive oil and fry sliced in stripes zucchini and asparagus over a medium heat. Let it cool.
Roll the dough into a rectangle, spread cream cheese on it and cover with zucchini and asparagus. Roll up the dough starting with a longer side of the rectangle. Cut the dough into 1,5-2cm slices. Arrange slices on a tray covered with a baking paper. Bake for about 30 minutes.
Enjoy, Marta
10 Comments
Dear Marta,
I love your blog, the recipes, the beautiful pictures and especially the stories you tell with the recipes. The story about your grandmother passing away made me cry, your visits the Poland make me want to travel with you and the posts with and about Mia make me want to get to know her as well.This latest post made me a little sad though. I get it, you’re a mama now. Or maybe I don’t get it, because I am not yet one – so I am trying to write this comment with all due respect, because I really don’t know nothing about how a child changes your life. I realize you have a very different life and a very special person to share it with (well, two I guess). But would you really say, that you don’t miss the friends that disappeared on the way?I feel the same thing is happening to me with some of my friends: some are getting married, some are getting children and yes, some of them are disappearing from my life/or I am disappearing from their life. I am still in the weekends-hangover-curing-phase, not necessarily an always great phase, but well, we have all been there (I actually wrote a post on the beauty of the sadness of those kind of days some time ago http://www.akteur-magazin.d…. It makes me “wehmütig” to not only have to cure the hangover without some of my earlier friends, but the thought that they don’t even miss our earlier times together makes me really sad. I really hope though that that will not be the case in the majority of cases – so many borders already exist between people from different countries, of different age, religion and I don’t think that mother- and fatherhood should be a thing more to add to the list that draws people away from each other. For sure there will be a time now or in the future that you’ll miss some of your earlier friends that are linked to earlier phases of your life and I think that is a good thing.
Love your blog and am looking forward to future stories of your little family!
Maria
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Hi Maria, great comment, thank you for each word. To answer your question – there are different kind of friends. In my language we have proper expressions for them, people you hang out with, your friends from school and so on, in English everyone is a friend. I’ve been traveling and living in different countries for 10 years now. My old friends from Warsaw – they’re there. Of course, because we didn’t hangout for 10 years, our relationship is different, we are different people, but we still meet and have great talks. What I meant were people I met when I moved to Berlin. These were fresh friendships and we met in different circumstances, when I wasn’t a mom. When you become a mom your life changes and it took me a long time to understand it. Coffee with girlfriends is with a kid, all the meetings as well. I don’t have family in Berlin, so no one to help. The thing is, that people who don’t have kids loose an interest. It’s natural and I get it. On the beginning it made me angry, but now I just don’t mind. And I don’t miss it, as I got new friends. It’s all without going into details. I still do many interesting things, go exhibitions, travel a lot, read, experience. But as I have the coolest kid in the whole world, who is funny, cute, smart and crazy, I talk about her a lot. And no mums don’t get it. I didn’t either, but now i do 😀 And with fresh mom (you wrote that you lost some friends who become parents), there are hormones included, frustrations, dealing with a change, changes in relationships and so on. Fresh parents need a lot of support and understanding, we may look ok, but it’s super difficult 🙂
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First of all, I think today is Mia’s 2nd birthday, so please send dear Mia my birthday wishes and hugs. xoxo I loved reading this post, and totally understand what you went through with friendship and all that for the past 2 years. It’s really a new chapter when you have a child. Your focus is now being the best mom possible and making a happy and healthy family. I think it’s worth celebrating for, and it’s good to be surrounded/supported by good friends who understand and be there for you. You can do so much. As I get older (and even busier with growing kids), I feel like my social circle is getting smaller and smaller – everyone is busy with their own kids. I’m so happy to see you enjoy the time with Mia. I miss this cute age soooooo much. Enjoy every minute of it, Marta. xo
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Nami I do, and 10 minutes later I miss it already. I realise how fast time passes. She’s so amazing, that I don’t want to send her to a kindergarten and when I do, I miss her for few hours 🙂 And then I run to pick her up. It’s so strange to be a mom hahahah
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First, lemme say that nothing in the world – foodwise – beats the words “baked in a dough”. I mean, anything must be really wonderfully delicious if baked in a dough, because DOUGH!! Dough is paradise, only beaten by potatoes, because potatoes are always good, and I love potatoes more than any other food, even dough!! So, this recipe, yes yes yes!! Ahhhh the joys of motherhood when it comes to friendship… it does sift, actually. I noticed it the moment I got pregnant. From those who had no kids to those who did but were the only ones in the group who had children, I just saw them go. Yeah, I don’t miss them much, if I’m to think about it, for many many reasons, and I don’t miss my wild nights – boy, was I a wild one in my youth – bcause I took my time, like you seem to have done, doing stuff I wanted so much to do before I even considered getting married, let alone become a mother. And I feel the same, I really like my son, he is great company, actually. He’s older than Mia, eight by now, but I remember when he was two, walking him to kindergarten and the two of us just chatting away and I have this fond memory of him showing me the world, because I was still working outside the home then, I was always pressed for time and I didn’t stop to see the world… so he showed it to me. It’s beyond description, that. I think you know what I mean 😉
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hahaha, I love your comments! Yes, Mia shows me the world as well. She often stops to look on a bug or a leaf and I start to look as well. It’s so cool to have cool kids 😀
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You two will have so much fun, but it will also be such a challenge for you to do it alone..but since you are wonder woman, you will make it and collect memories you will keep for a life
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hahaha, I am so far away from being a wonder woman 😀 It would be great to be one, or better, it would be great if I didn’t have to sleep 😀
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I’ve missed so very many of your posts! (But the bright side is that I’m having a wonderful time catching up.) These little rolls are stunning, and your words, as usual, are so vibrant and captivating — I can never get enough of reading about your journey with Mia. The problem of friendship enduring motherhood is a tough one, to be sure. On the flip side, I’ve been warmly surprised by the kinship that mamas share — I’ve never struck up random conversations with so many strangers (almost always other moms) before I had Luke in tow. As always, thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts. Hugs to you and Mia!